We too easily get caught up in the everyday hustle, work, family and other daily obligations and can forget that we need to pause and take time to be good to ourselves. However, taking a week or even a weekend-long vacation isn’t always feasible but you can have moments to yourself.
Even the idea of adopting a meditation practice can seem daunting. If you feel like you’re already pushing the parameters of time itself by squeezing in a morning workout and cooking dinner after work (or getting any food in you at any time after the sun sets), then you are not alone. But meditation doesn’t have to mean finding long stretches of time to sit in silence and go completely inward. While that is a beautiful and wonderful journey, there are ways to centre yourself in the here and now.
Sometimes I’m like, 'Wait, I haven’t taken a real breath all day,' and just taking 30 seconds to sit and do deep belly breathing is a game changer.
You can work on your practice all day long.
No, you don’t need to go to a silent retreat, meditating for hours, fasting, and ruminating on every passing thought. I am talking about being present.
It’s called a mindfulness practice, and every waking moment is an opportunity to practice. Which is great news, because when you slip up, you always have the entire rest of your life to give it another go.
Allowing yourself to be completely present might seem like a nebulous notion. Typically, we are always thinking in the future or the past, meaning that our present selves hardly exist in our own minds. We worry about what is next, what people will think of the thing we are doing right now, what people have thought about what we’ve done before, who to blame or resent, and what we don’t have. Allowing ourselves to focus on the exact present moment, its gifts, and all its sensations is absolutely liberating.
If you’re trying to pick up a new skill, whether that’s learning a new instrument, a computer program, or a language, instead of stressing about how long it’s going to take you to master it, just focus on where you’re at with it right now. Sweating the end result before you’ve begun will give you absolutely meaningless—albeit powerful—anxiety. Sometimes this anxiety is enough to keep you from excelling or even starting in the first place. It’s like an existential crisis, but about menial, real-life tasks. Stop floating outside the universe, and get grounded.
That’s where the phrases “one step at a time” or “one day at a time” originate and come into play. It’s the only way we can physically complete any task at hand, so it makes more sense to approach it that way in our minds. Being mindful and present for each step will bring peace, clarity, and ease to the bigger picture, without so much of the stress. A way to think of this is Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction.
I came across a study that showed sufferers of social anxiety disorder benefit greatly from MSBR. Sixteen SAD (social anxiety disorder) patients underwent MRIs during moments of social stress and negative thoughts, as well as when they were focusing on the present moment and their breath, revealing “improvement in anxiety and depression symptoms and self-esteem.”
Sometimes physical tools can help get you there. Keeping a stack of intention cards or handwritten reminders at your desk for reference might be helpful to keep you on track. Alarms on your phone that ding to pull you back into the now can wake you from a depressive state. As always, don’t forget to breathe. Focusing on our breath is the easiest and most accessible way to gain perspective into the present, and drive a little more oxygen into our brains.
Simple steps to prioritise self-care:
- Try 20 minutes of yoga at home.
- Explore self-pleasure.
- Unplug and turn off all notifications while you read a chapter or two from your favourite book or catch up on a show you’ve had on your list to watch.
- Give longer hugs. (Did you know: the average hug lasts three seconds, but to really reap the benefits of the hug, 15 to 20 seconds is what releases that feel-good “love hormone” we all crave, oxytocin.)
- Stand in front of the mirror and smile, laugh and name 5 things that you are grateful for and that make you happy or smile.
- Set boundaries with family and coworkers.
- Do a face mask or an at home facial massage
- Connect with friends—all it takes is a call or text with a close friend to kick off a solid conversation full of laughs, which is an instant way to release endorphins.
- Listen to a good podcast, audiobook, guided meditation (can be found on YOUTUBE).
- Take a walk or go on a run and be in nature (even if it’s just around the block).
- If you belong to a gym or pay for ClassPass, don’t let your membership go to waste. Book your favourite class.
- Avoid using your phone at least 1-2 hours before bed
Let the good vibes roll, and let us know which resonated with you the most and how you carve out time for self-care in the comments section below.
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